I was once just like you.
I bought a horse because he was pretty and I love animals. I wanted a spee-shul bond with a horse, and I had taken quite a few lessons when I was young. I no longer had my parents to help me with costs, but I felt I needed to be around these animals.
One fateful fall day, I noticed something was off in my horses foot. He was limping and not moving much. When I called out to him, he looked at me and nickered, but could not get to me. When I asked what had happened I was told it was a stone bruise. Nothing to worry about. He will be better for the big trail ride this weekend. He was “just being a baby”.. “faking it.”
Well my darlings, this would lead to the beginnings of me becoming The Snob. That front hoof of my gelding blew up into a terrible abscess. Something I had never even really heard of. I realized, I owned a horse, had taken lessons since I was very young, yet knew very little about them. Now my horse was suffering because I believed someone due to the fact I didn’t know any better.
I became a horse knowledge sponge.. a freak, almost. 3 years later, I moved boarding facilities probably 5 times , have read countless books/magazines/blogs, been to dozens of clinics and lessons, became a successful manager of a English tack store, and have finally been through my first year of showing my new gelding (and quite successfully in my opinion!). If I had decided that my horse was “faking it” or that I already knew enough- I had owned a horse when I was 5 dammit!- I would not have the fabulous gelding out of the leading sire of HUS quarter horses Luke At Me. No, he’s not going to go to congress, but he is a far cry from my original little gelding I had those 3 years ago (who is very happy with his new mom and dad who love to just trot down the trail). I am by far not a over the top awesome rider either- but I have gotten much better, and continue to try to improve every day.
Here are my Ten Horse Rules to live by. You will be subjected to divine snobbery if you break one of these.
1. Horses are not dogs, and following Parelli blindly is bullshit.
a. Want a big dog? Go get a mastiff. A horses love comes from R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it Aretha!). Not the kind where you beat them, or tie their legs and flip them when they don’t do what you ask the first time. Not the kind where you poke them with a stick and say “please move baby”, “Come on just move for momma” and the horse doesn’t even think of moving.
2. Your yearling should not have a saddle on it. Or you. Leave the baby alone!
a. Until your horse is 2 (in my opinion 2.5-3) years of age, you better not be spending much time on the poor things back. Don’t believe me? Google it. Lazy? Check out the debate on this forum: http://www.horseforum.com/horse-training/age-break-horse-54993/
3. You need a good farrier. Don’t think you can do this yourself- unless you have training.
a. A horses hooves affect the animals entire body. A farrier has significant amounts of experience under his belt and training. If you don’t want to spend the money on this, then don’t get a horse. Unless you know about angles, different types of foot problems and all about trimming, you could end up with a horse with lameness or navicular pretty quick.
4. Your horse isn’t faking it.
a. Horses show anger, pain, aggression, all for a certain reason. Could be physical or emotional. As the owner, it is your job to help your horse through this. Call a vet, call a trainer. Don’t run to the medicine box and Bute them up- Bute is like Tylenol and only covers up- it also can cause big problems in the tummy. If you have a horse that is in obvious pain, and supplements, injections and all the other things aren’t working, you need to evaluate if it is worth keeping a horse alive that is in constant pain.
5. Your horse needs to be wormed more than 2 times a year.
a. I worm my horse every month. It depends on where you are located, and what you really want to do. If you are in colder climates, you can get away with less, if you are in a warm climate, it better be often. That big old belly might not be fat- it might be worms.
6. If you can’t afford a vet, don’t own a horse.
a. A horse in a padded stall would find a way to hurt itself. I only own one horse because I know if he gets hurt, I will have serious vet bills. X-rays run around $200-300 bucks. You have that type of cash for each horse you own? Also.. Don’t tell me you just “don’t want to know” what’s wrong. That’s bullshit, and you know it.
7. Horses need more than just hay.
a. I know, I know. This is where I could lay the snobbery on quite thick. Yes, horses CAN get by with just hay. You CAN live on Mini Wheats. What kind of hay mixture do you use? Alfalfa? Grass? What kind of supplements are they on? Do you feed oats? Horses should not drop a ton of weight in the winter. You should have them at a manageable weight all year round.
8. You need to ride all year round.
a. When I was younger I was extremely guilty of this. I know better now. A horse is not an ATV or car that you can pull out of storage after winter and go bomb around town. You need to continuously work with your horse to keep them on track. Sitting all winter long means you will have 3-4 months of time to make up when spring hits, and you had better take it damn slow.
9. Stallions are extremely dangerous. Just because you have a purty horse and think he is nice looking doesn’t mean he should breed.
a. Unless you have a horse that has proven himself to be worthy of those jewels, they should be gone. Worthy as in, great conformation, great disposition and an all star show/running record. Don’t have them? Don’t breed. There are enough horses getting on the meat truck every day.
10. You never know enough. You never are a pro.
a. Take lessons, read books, talk to horse people, go to shows and clinics. Don’t be brainwashed into thinking there is only one way to do something. If you think you know everything, you don’t. If you feel in your heart or in your brain that something is wrong with your horse, boarding situation, whatever, it probably is. Things change all the time with horses, and it’s your job to keep learning.
I’m sure I could add more things to this list, but it’s the basic list of things that I have compiled over the years. I have broken some of these rules in previous years, and that is why they are listed now. Yes, it’s embarrassing to do something wrong, and feel like you are right. It’s time to drop the egos and pride and do this for your horse! I learned I was going about horses wrong, and I changed. Yes, I’m snarky, and yes, I’m a snob. Hopefully, I can help create a few more.
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